The Master Cleanse – Day One
The cleanse officially began last night sooner than I would have liked. Only 90 minutes after drinking the tea and going to bed, it was working. So, I’ll drink it as prescribed once more tonight, but if it kicks in within two hours, then I’ll have to roll it back and drink it two hours before I go to bed. I mean, the idea is just getting this stuff out, I don’t think when is all that critical.
Upon waking up, I had to drink my quart of warm salt water. This is one of the parts I was most dreading, thinking to salt water gargles when I had a sore throat, it causing me to gag, and having to spit it right back out. I intentionally bought the expensive salt because I’d read online where people said at first they just bought cheap non-iodized sea salt for the Master Cleanse, and it made them gag, so the grey celtic sea salt is supposed to work for that. So, I mixed up the salt water, and… it is a much lower concentration than what I would normally gargle with, but beyond that it goes down pretty easy.
However, once inside, you can tell it’s got something special going on as you feel it sort of make its way through you. The books say it can take as long as 90 minutes to work, and I can’t imagine what could possibly take people that long. I think I was done within 30, with probably half going out the front door and half going out the back door. I noticed immediately how mucus in my nasal cavity seemed to want out, and I was sort of coughing up phlegm, which is not any part of my morning ritual. I know that’s standard for people who consume dairy, but it was strange for me.
Then, after a bit, I made up my first batch of the lemonade. I’m rather shocked that I hadn’t made up a glass well in advance of this cleanse to try it. I mean, this is my only meal for 10+ days, and I go into it blind? Well, let’s face it. I love citrus fruit, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper. Clearly, the only wildcard in the mix is the cayenne. So, I mix it up, and goes down easy. I try and treat it like nourishment and food, rather than a beverage, so I sip it down slowly while reading e-mail or whatever (which I should do whenever I’m eating anything, I know, I know..).
I was predicting I might be too drained to work out and such on the cleanse, but I think that is more predicting and anticipating behavior than reacting to your body’s clear signals. So, I made a point to work out on day one. I did 45 minutes of cardio, the usual. One interesting thing was that I was waiting for 11 a.m. for the “all clear” from the salt water, but then had a moment of hesitation about whether I should go to the gym then or wait until after lunch. Of course, lunch and every other meal are just a glass of lemonade, but it just sort of shows how meals sort of set the schedule for my day normally. As though working out through lunch might cause me to faint or something.
The day was largely without incident. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it seemed like it was more like being a slave to the bathroom, or a life that would be made easier with Depends. But, honestly, it’s nothing too crazy. It’s certainly not my normal feeling in regards to needing to eliminate, but more like when you have colon hydrotherapy (if you ever have). You can tell you’re going to have to go well in advance of it necessarily needing to happen. I even sort of let it seemingly build up rather than immediately running to the loo, since I knew it wasn’t going to amount to much anyway. So, it wouldn’t really be a problem in the outside world.
When I read about the 6 to 12 glasses, and that I should only stick closer to the 6 side to reduce, I was a bit worried. I figured I would be floating up around the 12 side, maybe even having more since I worked out. So far, I’ve had four?! And that’s been for like 11 hours? So, I’m actually going to have to make sure I have the minimum six? I certainly wouldn’t have predicted that.
The only thing I didn’t have was the mint tea, which is something allowed on the diet for variety, but not really part of the actual diet itself. I’m trying not to drink too much excess water while doing this, since if you drink too much you can dilute the lemonade. And, if you think the stuff does have special magic to roto-root you out, it would make sense to keep it as concentrated as possible. But again, it’s not that I’ve been wanting or denying myself water or anything else. I feel rather contented by it all.
I did take a nap late in the afternoon, but that’s not unusual or indicative of anything special. I also found that some of the cayenne floats on the surface of the lemonade but some sinks to the bottom, so it’s important to keep swirling it around while you drink it or else that last sip is a bit too hot.
But I also got some stuff in the mail today to review for Vegocentric, so I’ll try and bang through some of that this week, too. More cleanse coverage as it happens…
